How Are Those New Years’ Resolutions Working for You?

On December 31^st we find most of the resolutions we made twelve months earlier aren’t even remembered, much less started or accomplished!  What’s causes the recurring phenomenon?   

Working with my coaching clients I’ve found one of the principal culprits that holds them back:  They are not ready to change!

Most resolutions involve changing a habit or behavior. If you aren’t ready for change, it won’t happen.  There’s a fabulous change model called Prochaska’s Stages of Change that has five stages.  If you are in the first or second stage of change, its likely you will not live up to your resolutions.

If you are in the first stage of change, called pre-contemplation, you don’t view the habit or situation you want to break as a real problem.  That’s where I find many of my clients.  This is when resolutions are written that don’t reflect what the client thinks is a problem, but what someone does.  Take the example of Luci.  Her spouse thinks she should exercise more, but Luci doesn’t believe her weight is a problem.  But to appease her spouse Luci makes a resolution to exercise more.  And does she?  Probably not, because Luci doesn’t believe a real problem exists.

Contemplation is the second stage of change.  Here you know there is a problem, but you are sitting on the fence, weighing pros and cons.  You can stay in the contemplation stage for long periods of time, months or even years.  Moving out of this stage may require a deep evaluation of values or working with a mentor or role model to help support you to start planning for change.  If Luci were in this stage, she’d be looking at the pros and cons of more exercise, she might be talking to colleagues or friends about exercising more, or discussing the value of more exercise with her physician.

The third stage is preparation.  This is where you are really motivated to take action in the near future, probably within the next month.   In this stage you believe you can make a change.  If Luci were in this stage she would be making plans to join a health club, set up “walking dates” with a buddy, purchase exercise videos, etc.

When my coaching clients set resolutions and goals I listen closely to how they describe them.  Do I hear excitement around the goal?  Can they describe why they want to pursue the goal?  Can they say what steps they need to take to achieve the goal?  Can they tell me when they will start working on the first step? Asking these questions allows my clients to listen deeply to themselves and find the sweet spot where resolutions and goals are going to work for them, not against them.

How do you know if you have a resolution that works for you?  Are you excited about it? Can you describe why it is important to YOU? Can you list steps to achieve it? Do you have a start date and schedule?  If so, then you’ve probably got a winning resolution. 

Visit www.TheMonarchCtr.com .  We help women help themselves fulfill their life, leadership, and economic potential.

Let’s Start to Invent!

At 7:15 PM CT the first Wednesday of each month there's a group of committed women who come together to Toast Leadership.   They are inventors!  Invention is about discovery, creation and change. What these women know is that embracing invention allows them to grow, develop and fulfill their potential. 

In November we surveyed our Toast to Leadership women and asked, “What topics would you like to explore during 2016?”  Not surprisingly the respondents  didn’t choose topics like negotiation skills, or meetings or team management!  Hands down, these women wanted more than a toolbox of skills.  Out of a list of several topics on the survey, they wanted to focus on the core of exceptional leadership…..mindfulness. 

Neuroscience research says that mindful practice brings about changes to the structure and function of the brain and reinvents us by helping minimizing a life in auto-pilot and improves our focus, clarity, creativity, and empathy.  This change lets leadership presence flourish and translates into a host of “betters”….better strategic thinking, better response under pressure, better listening and engaging skills, better and more informed decision making, and better creativity and innovation.  Who wouldn’t want these benefits?

At the recommendation of our “inventors”  the focus of Toast to Leadership:  Ladies Virtual Night Out this year, is on “Mindful Leadership.”   We’ll explore the neuroscience, see why companies such as General Mills, Pixar and Ford have implemented in house mindfulness programs, and learn how to practice and incorporate mindfulness into our daily lives so that we can help ourselves and other flourish. 

Can’t wait to get started developing exceptional leadership?  Join us  by teleconference at Toast to Leadership:  Ladies Virtual Night Out the first Wednesday of each month from 7:15 – 8:15 PM.  If you haven’t registered, sign up at www.TheMonarchCtr.com .

Let’s start to INVENT!

Sponsors clear the path for career advancement. But how do you get one?

Networking plays a critical role in career advancement.  An important part of the network portfolio is having a sponsor within your work organization. In simple terms, a sponsor is a senior manager in the organization who actively advocates for your career advancement and is in a position of influence to help push it forward.  But according to studies from Rock Health, (http://www.slideshare.net/RockHealth/rock-report-iii-women-in-healthcare), McKinsey (www.mckinsey.com/.../PDFs/Women_matter_mar2012_english.ashx), Wall Street Journal (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304746604577381953238775784.html), and others, a top barrier to career advancement for women is the lack of this type of sponsor.  So how can women secure a sponsor at work? 
 
Many companies are trying to turn this phenomenon around by instituting formal mentor and sponsorship programs.  If you are fortunate to work for this type of company, be proactive and join the program. 

If your company does not have a sponsorship program, the following is an overview of some preparatory actions you can take.  In the following weeks, I’ll step you through each of these, giving you more specifics, ideas, and examples of how these actions can be executed.

1.       Know who you are and what you want. Clarify your career goals before seeking a sponsor and hone your elevator speech. Know your passion and strengths and be prepared to share these as well as your previous successes and career ambitions with others.  If people don’t know what you want and the value you bring, they can’t help you move your career forward. 

2.       Develop your brand.  A brand signifies how you want others to think about you.  It includes your values, attitude, physical appearance, affective behavior, emotional intelligence, your knowledge and the value you project.

3.       Network with senior executives.  Don’t be afraid to introduce yourself at meetings to prospective sponsors, or volunteer for projects, committees, and initiatives that will give you visibility and that the prospective sponsor champions. A word of caution:  you must perform.  That means your work on projects and other initiatives must be outstanding. Senior managers are NOT going to advocate for someone they don’t know and who cannot produce and execute.

4.       Volunteer for cross-functional projects and initiatives and then perform well.  This will give you heighten visibility throughout the organization and showcase your brand and performance. 

5.       When you believe that you have established yourself through these steps, you can approach a prospective sponsor.  (It may be the case that you won’t have to approach a sponsor; the sponsor will approach you after seeing your value).  Make an appointment with the prospective sponsor.  In the meeting be clear that you are looking for a sponsor relationship.  Be direct about the value you bring and where you want your career to go. Let the prospective sponsor know that you are open for opportunities that can advance your career.      

Honoring the Individuality and Values of Every Woman Who Turns Its Pages

This is the fifth in a series of posts on how my new book, 52 Week Game Changer:  How She Leads, went from vision to reality.

I believe that everyone has the potential for leadership.  I also believe that the roots of leadership are found at our very core—our personal strengths and values.  Leadership is rooted in who you are, not in trying to be someone else. Unfortunately, many of us do not think about, much less honor, our strengths and values to the extent that we should. 

Through coursework for leadership coaching and through the coaching experience itself (both as the coach and the coachee), my belief has only intensified that honoring personal strengths and values is as necessary for leadership success as water is for sustaining aquatic life.   If we do not know who we are how can others know and follow us?  If we do not honor our strengths and values, practicing and exhibiting them, how can we expect to model the way for others?  If we are not constant in the use of our strengths and values, how can we expect others to trust us?

The definition of confidence is a belief in one’s own abilities.  Studies have repeatedly shown that an important part of leadership is self-confidence and the belief that you can succeed. Those who lack self-confidence often avoid risk and are more cautious in career choices. Knowing your strengths and knowing how to leverage these is a critical underpinning of self-confidence.

Because knowing, honoring and levering your strengths is essential for leadership, six weeks in the initial part of changing the game is devoted to helping you know and honor what you bring to the table, finding your voice to speak for yourself, standing up for your convictions and believing that you have the ability to “Change the Game.”

The Title: I Knew It the Instant I Saw It

The following is the third in the series of how my book, 52 Week Game Changer: How She LEADS, went from vision to reality.

Game changer!  I was browsing through the Internet. I don’t even remember what it was that I was looking for.  But all of a sudden, there it was in bold letters as a title on some webpage.  “Game changer.”   I ran into the next room saying to my husband Russell and my dog Bruno, “That’s it!  Game changer.”  Both looked at me quizzically, not understanding the significance of the moment, but none-the-less cheered me on with “You Go, Girl!”  I knew the moment I saw those words, that they reflected the spirit of my new-to-be book.  The book would be a game changer for helping women to believe in themselves, honor their individuality, and valuing their strengths. It would be a game changer serving as a companion, confidant, cheerleader, supporter, and sponsor to women as they cultivated their leadership potential.

I knew that “Game Changer” was only part of the title.  It wouldn’t be an overnight game change.  Changing the game meant cultivating, growing, and feeling comfortable in leadership over time.  Discovering, acknowledging, and honoring personal strengths and values would be the book’s core.  Finding and then being inspired by a personal vision and motivated by purpose, developing confidence, and finding a voice would require reflection and exercise.  Committing to goals, setting accountabilities and keeping them, would mean taking simple steps on what would be a game changing journey, not a singular event. 

The title of my new-to-be book, flowed naturally:  52 Week Game Changer:  How She Leads.

Order from http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/mljohnsphd and receive an immediate 15% Discount.  Coming to other major booksellers soon.

Next blog:  Revealing the Game!

From Chaos to Inspiration

The following is the second in the series of how my book, 52 Week Game Changer:  How She Leads, went from vision to reality.

The heart of my book had been revealed, but to fulfill its purpose, the book needed structure, organization, and arrangement.   Over the next couple of weeks, ideas for the book’s content, like Ping-Pong balls, popped into my head endlessly, and at the oddest times. Sometimes the ideas magically appeared while I was strolling in my town’s historic square, or when I was walking the dog, or when I woke, tossing and turning at 3:00 AM in the morning.  I ceaselessly catalogued all of them in my mind.  I doodled sketches on notepads, and wrote ideas on post-its, the grocery list, and even on the phone message log.  I struggled constantly in trying to find the right balance among the infinite thread of ideas.  Chaos seemed to reign.  But one day inspiration hit like a fireball…..the clues had been there all the time, I just hadn’t noticed until now.

I have been a career advisor, mentor, and sponsor to hundreds (and perhaps even thousands) of women over my 40 year career.  I have worked with women; I have been in a professional field made up of over 90% women and I have seen women struggle to try to make it up the career ladder.  I’ve been there myself, for goodness sake! 

I’ve seen and experienced the structural and cultural barriers that hold women back, but I also know that for many of us the center of what drives us forward in fulfilling our potential is frequently also the same as what holds us back…..it is ourselves. 

This is the inspiration that hit me like a fireball and created form out of the endless rain of ideas.  The book’s structure would be framed around ourselves….the celebration of personal strengths and values, and the discovery and commitment to a personal vision, purpose, mission and goals.  Leveraging these —strengths, values, vision, purpose, mission and goals—is the essence upon which leadership rests and when activated will not be stopped. 

In the end, we cannot truly lead others until we are inspired and can lead ourselves.

Next installment of the series:  Discover how the title of my book almost fell into my lap!